You can probably tell by my recent posts that I’ve not been in the best of mindsets lately, resulting in poor training attendance, slack food choices and general blahness all round.
I had a makeup session with Chris at Zenergy this morning and I was looking forward to it. I was resolved to go in and do a good session. Dare I say, even punish myself for being so slack lately. Well, punish we did.
It’s amazing how wrecked you can get in a 10 min As Many Reps as Possible (AMRAP) session. We were using kettle bells which I enjoy and they were a little bit heavier than I’ve previously done so I knew it was going to hurt. I’ve never really had tough hands but I wouldn’t call them girls hands either. Well today they got smashed. Not sure why, I was using chalk and it wasn’t like I hadn’t done these things before. Maybe it was the ‘punishment’ mentality I took into the session, my body cooperated by making my hands soft or something.
Here, check it out.
Do you know what I mean? Doldrums is a colloquial term sailors use to describe being becalmed by the weather (I think it even more specifically refers to a location in an ocean where calm weather (no wind) is common. This is obviously pre-power boat days when boats only had sails and therefore needed wind as a means of propulsion. No wind = no going anywhere. Here’s a pic.
Well, that’s me right now. In pretty much all areas of my life unfortunately. Work has stalled due to the recent State Gov’t election, funds are running low, I’m sick of living where I’m living, training has stalled, diet has gone to rubbish and I’m not very happy about all of this. So I guess I need to take a leaf out of an ancient slavers book. If there’s no wind. Row.
My personal commitment is tonight to go and do some exercise. Anything, but deep down I’d like it to be intense, soul-cleansing, distracting, empowering, enervating, vigorous and ultimately… fulfilling. Am I asking too much? Time will tell.
I’ve been having a pretty ordinary week. Ordinary on most fronts, well all of them really. Training, work, food, everything. It’s got me to wondering. Which would I prefer? To keep striving for something even though that in itself is tiring, or be grateful and learn to settle with what I am or what I have?
It’s a tough choice because there is merit in both approaches. Learning to accept what we have and who we are and being grateful for the blessings we count is a very good thing to do. To continually seek to improve, to earn more, do more, have more, be more can sometimes mask a distorted perception of what’s important. Or it can stem from feelings of inadequacy, which is also not good.
Then on the other hand you have the value of seeking to do better at those things that are important. Of persisting in the face of adversity, or putting one foot in front of the other in order to achieve goals. That’s good too.
So can you see my dilemma? At the moment I’m thinking those things about the same thing. About my commitment to exercise and clean eating, to continually trying to reduce skin-folds. Different aspects of my psyche can argue strongly for each side of the scale.
I’m hopeful that tomorrow’s Tough Mudder session with Kirt, Tony and the gang will jolt me out of my reverie and get me back on track.